One of my current works in progress (WIP) is The Ship from Wolfskill, a steampunk-ish tale of a levitating riverboat. As I discussed in my earlier blog about backstory, sometimes our writing contains information we as the writer need to know. Alas, that information is not needed by the reader and becomes tedious. One of my CPs encouraged me to not over-tell, to avoid a “play-by-play” style.
To try to find an example, I went to a 2019 version of The Ship from Wolfskill. As I developed the theory of the airship, the science in me was compelled to think of all the problems that might occur. One was fuel to feed the boiler. The first time our son read the book, he said, “Too much getting wood!” I will further confess that wood and coal scenes like the one below were all too frequent in the book.
The next hour we lugged armloads of wood. José brought a wheelbarrow, but we still had to toss the wood onto the deck. The wood began to pile up on the side, so we climbed up to carry it into the engine room. Handling the wood twice was a chore. Trip after trip to the far side of the boiler made my arms ache.
“Finn, why don’t you stay on the ship and move the wood. Let us bring it to you.”
Finn nodded. “Boiler pressure has dropped. I am going to idle the engine to turn the blower. It is better to use a little power and keep the fire hot.”
Laura kept up with José and me. Her face was red, and she had dirt on her cheek, but she almost ran back to the woodpile each trip. José was the one who could work. I was amazed by how many logs he could pile on the wheelbarrow.
As you can see, I was caught up in the minutia of how the ship worked and how much work it was “to fly.” Upon analysis and after several revisions, I removed much of the detail and tried to focus on the characters.
The next hour we lugged wood. Laura’s face was red, and she had dirt on her cheek, but she ran back to the woodpile each trip. I was amazed by how many logs José could pile on the wheelbarrow.
It shows that this is hard work, but via the actions of Laura and José. And as I read these three sentences, I have to say, “Needs work, George, needs work.” This is why I wrote the blog “Don’t Hurry.”
You may be thinking, “This advice could shorten my book!” All I can say is now you have room for important scenes. Books don’t benefit from fill, and we don’t get paid by the word.
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