Writers can become confused by homonyms. We begin with the full intention of birthing a book and end up berthing the book. Falling prey to the “Is the book good enough?” and “Am I good enough?” can paralyze writers. We have all read books that were rushed to print, and I discuss that condition in Don’t Hurry. But many writers work their manuscript to death. I wrote the opening pages of Members of the Cast 80 times! The published opening had been wandering around in my brain for a couple of years, and I eventually circled back to it.

Members of the Cast was years in the making. It was started in 1978, shelved for almost 40 years, and then five years of hard writing and revising became a “book.” It has been published, is done, and will not be revised.

Members of the Cast did query tours, changed from 3rd person to the 1st person, only to be changed back two years later. It received some interest and enjoyed the honor of an agent requesting a full manuscript.

During my querying days, I felt a nervous pressure that I kept hidden in the back of my mind. The pressure of “getting it right” for the scrutiny of an agent and an editor. If the book were to be picked up by a publishing house, would I be able to “perform” to deadlines? Was I a good enough writer to become an author?

While pondering my place in the writing world, I decided to query The Ship from Wolfskill. The book was a complete “western sci-fi adventure set in the 1890s”—steampunk. I got a request for a full and went into full panic mode. I sent it out, “testing the waters” to see if the agent would think there was anything there. For me, a Full meant at least two complete passes through the book. I begged my grown children to each do half of the book to catch any errors. The Ship from Wolfskill was in good shape, but I would not be embarrassed by a manuscript that wasn’t as absolutely good as I make it. Unfortunately, the agent passed on the book.

Frustrated with the query trail, Members of the Cast was slated for Swoon Reads—I thought I would try it out on strangers. A week before I submitted my book, Macmillian shut down Swoon Reads. This hit me like a gob of mud in the face. I was at a crossroads and decided to self-publish. A small press caught my eye, and I thought one last shot at trade publishing couldn’t hurt. The book was back with a no in less than two weeks, and it was “Christmas Week!”

I had revised until Members of the Class was in danger of becoming berthed—cozy in mothballs like so many naval ships. And, from the moment a Navy vessel is mothballed, it begins to fall apart. Ships need to be sailed, and books need to be published. So, I self-published.

The “self-publish” decision was surprisingly easy. My anxiety disappeared as I navigated the murky waters of self-publishing. Nevertheless, I chose a date, and six weeks later, Members of the Cast became a “real book.” Is it good enough? Reviews say it is quite good. Is it perfect? Not by a long shot.

If you have not had the pleasure of buying Members of the Cast, take a “Look Inside.” One reviewer said, “- Best book I’ve read in forever.”

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I spent my life teaching 6th graders. We have always been involved in church. Now I spend my days in an old stone house, wandering our four acres, and writing.